Happy is the man who knows who he is.

What makes a man? What is a man for? Better still is what man knows the answer and knows that he is a MAN? In this day and age of masculine suppression and tolerance of unacceptable substitutes it is hard for a real man to come forth as he is often looked down on for trying to be a man. But when a real man does come forth how can we be sure he is in fact a Real Man? How can he be sure he is a Real Man? A much harder question to answer this is.

Walking down the mall I have seen many different forms of acceptable (and I use the term very loosely) examples of men today. We have all seen a tough guy before, you know which ones I'm talking about. The ones who think that being a man is dressing and acting the part. Foul language, a tough persona that shows no emotion, a rock that can take on anything. And at the other end is the man who is not sure if he is in fact a man. He is the one who for whatever the reasons has made a choice to be more of a woman than a man. Emotional, feminine, not aware of his masculinity. And then there is everything else in between. These are the board men, the weak men, the copy cat men who think that following the styles of this world will make them who they are. Then there are the lazy men, afraid in their hearts to do anything for fear they might actually prove something of themselves, or the ones who work, work, work in hopes that drowning themselves they will finally feel like they have proven themselves and maybe earned a little glory for themselves before the end.

But is this what being a man is all about? Is this all that any man has to look forward to? I do not believe it to be so, and I know in my heart there is more. To know for sure we must look to Jesus, the one true man to have ever walked this earth. Yes there have been a few men along the way but it is getting to be precious few as we travel the length of time. Jesus showed us that shedding a tear can show strength, courage. Taking time for the children can show honor, humility. Taking time to drive out the money makers in the temple could show us passion, boldness. And dieing for those he did not even meet, at least as the man, could show us nobility, love. Jesus was a real man but he did not drive himself to the grave from work. He waisted time at a well just so one woman might come to feel true love for the first time in her life. He cried over the pain and stupidity of others in a city because he knew that they were lost. He showed strength in a hot moment of passion and what it could do when controlled. Jesus was a man. And yet today we are afraid of him. So we change him to fit our own image, or rather we change him into something we no longer need to fear.

"Safe? Who said anything about being safe? Of course He isn't safe, But He's good."

What happens when a good man comes along? I will use a bit of scripture here to say what I think. I know it is a bit out of context but I still think it works. I think that when a real, or good man comes along the world is not worthy of him. The prophets spoken of in this passage from Hebrews were real men. Yes they made their mistakes and plenty of them, but they all had an unflinching faith in the one true man which is God. So when we see a true man today even with all of his mistakes I firmly believe the world is not worthy of such a man. Such a man knows what it means to live, not survive, but live. Such a man knows how to fight, not brawl, but stand firm in the face of the evils of this world and not flinch from duty, honor, valour, and truth. Such a man knows how to love, not the love of this world which is fleeting, childish, built on a selfish desire for one's own pleasure, but love, selfless, committed in the face of all trials and losses, sacrificial, strong and gentle to the very end, love. I hope one day those who knew me will be able to say those things of me.

I have met and known a few such men in my life and my life is the better for it, but there is one in particular I would like to call attention to. His name in this earth was Vince Bierly, but to me he was always "Pap". A few weeks ago my Pap went to be with his Creator, Jesus the Messiah. I know that right now he is happy as a lark to be in that wonderful place with no more pain or fears or problems. And I envy him, I know I would like to be there with him, but for the time being I am needed here to raise my own boys to become men and to love my wife with all the love I can give.

I do not know much of my Pap's life apart from the short span of it I was around. From the funeral service I learned of things like how happy he was about five years ago when he was in the hospital. He was never in the hospital so he thought it must have been serious and he was thrilled to think he was about to die to go be with Jesus. He didn't go just then though. And a few years ago he was talking in a group meeting or bible study or some such thing and he was sharing how much he still loved my Gram, even called her his little chickadee. During the war he helped to work on experimental engines for airplanes and helped to fix the air conditioners on troop trains bringing wounded home. If he had gone he might not have made it back from Europe. According to my Gram most of his unit did not return. He stood for what he believed in and had wisdom that was from a lifetime of walking with his God. He was a mountain man and loved the nature around him, the nature he knew came from his heavenly father. He was a man, a man after God's heart. Would such a man be recognized today?

I love my Pap, my Dad, and all the other men I have met in my life who have shown an integrity in their actions that the world would never understand. Do all these men make mistakes? I guess another way to answer that question is to ask if any of us are perfect? Since no one is perfect until death then yes, all these men make mistakes. What we do with our mistakes is the key to what kind of men we are. Do we love our wives forever, constantly pursuing them even when they are fifty, sixty....and do we stand for truth even if it gets us in trouble, looses a job....do we see our time as money, or time we can never get back so we should use it wisely? There is a whole host of things demanding our life and strength. Our noses were not made for a grindstone and our strength was not made for money. Our hearts, souls, strength, and character was made for God. What does He ask of us? You might say it is easier to give up, blend in, disappear, so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for us to decide.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that has been given to us."

We still have the vision...

Hello folks. How is one and all? It has come time to let you all know a sad bit of news. We want to first say thank you to all who stood with us both prayerfully and financially during our time at home while raising awareness for our backpackers ministry. It was a big encouragement to us, especially with trying to settle back into life in America and finding a job and all. So we really appreciate it. We regret to inform you though that we will not be heading to Scotland for the time being. We were not able to raise the funds we needed to support the mission over there and as such we do not feel it is right to draw out any longer the fund raising we have been doing for the last two years. We are sorry to see this mission not happen but we know and believe that God is in control and that He has a reason for everything He does. The vision has not died. We still have a heart to see the backpackers hear the gospel of Jesus, but we understand that it is not to be right now. So we thank you again for all your prayers and we hope to keep in touch so that you may know when the time has come for us to go to the backpackers. Thank you.

In other news this is where we are at right now and how you can be praying for us. For now we are living in Albuquerque New Mexico. Nate is working hard to find a good paying job that can support our little family. I(Nate) have my New Mexico state license for practicing as an EMT-Basic but for whatever reason I have not yet been able to find work with it. But we also want to have something that will keep us involved in ministry if God wills. Nate has put his resume in to several churches looking for work as a youth pastor. So far it has not been very encouraging but he keeps trying. It is our desire to help young people as this would keep us as a family involved in a church besides just attending on Sundays and according to studies done by groups like Answers in Genesis at least 70 percent of young people today are leaving the church once they graduate from high school. That number is appalling. We want to be able to reach these kids to give them a look at Christ and see that He is real and relevant to their lives. We are also hoping that this might give us a bit more experience for our future with the backpackers of Europe.

As for our boys William has started homeschooling. He is very smart and learning to read and can even write his name without any help. He loves puzzles and video games. Josue can say most of his ABC's and can even count to 10 by himself. He loves Cars(Pixar that is) and Thomas the train. Gabriel is learning how to say all kinds of words. Some of his favorite words are pizza and poopy. Why those two we don't know. He also loves Thomas the train. They are a handful but they are our little blessings.

So this is where we sit right now. We are just trying to pay our bills and serve God while doing it. We are still waiting for Nate's book to take off. We are hoping for it to get out there and start reaching people with the Gospel of Christ. It was from God's leading that I decided to write it so we are hoping it will really minister to those who find it. Please keep it in your prayers, or if you should decide you would like to get a copy for yourselves you can find it at https://www.createspace.com/3697273 or on Amazon.com. The title is This Pilgrim's Journey: and his thoughts on what he has learned and it runs for 15 dollars. Also please be praying for Nate as he tries to find work. It is not an easy time to find a good job and he has put in many resumes and applications all across the country for EMT or youth pastor, even applications at Wal-Mart and Starbucks.

Again we thank you all so much for your prayers and support and we love you all so much. Thank you and may God bless you all.

A new book

Greetings to one and all. I thank you all for your time to check out this blog and see what news our family is up to. I am sorry I have not written in a while but I have been a bit busy. In August I (nate) was in California for two weeks taking a class for becoming an EMT Basic. I am now nationaly registered and I hope to be state certified by the end of the week and should soon after that be working for an ambulance company in Albuquerque. Although I am not sure if it will happen that fast. I say Albuquerque because for those of you who do not know we have moved to Albuquerque just last month. We are living in a little three bedroom apartment for the time being while we wait to see when we will be moving to Scotland. Yes we are still aiming for Scotland as that is where our heart is. So in the mean time I have done something to try and raise some money for our mission.

If anyone is interested I have written a book and had it published. Yes that is right, I have published a book. It is called This Pilgrim's Journey and is available at this address: https://www.createspace.com/3697273 and in about another week it will be available on Amazon.com. The book covers various topics from Creation vs Evolution, to Love, Sex, and Marriage, and even answers questions such as Does God Exist?

Here is a small piece of the book taken from Chapter two, What Defines our Life?:
What about madness? Was Jesus crazy? Again how could a mad man deceive so many people into thinking He knew what He was talking about? If you have ever met a mad person you would know there is no chance of Jesus teaching the crowds the Bible says He taught without being found out. I have seen many mad people in Africa as a missionary and I can tell you there is no way to hide such mental instability. And again, the ones who say that Jesus was not God but a good moral teacher are basically saying that a mad man is a good moral teacher. Wow, what a claim, a mad man as a moral teacher. That would be like saying that we could look to someone like the Joker as a good source of morals. Jesus has truly deceived many if He was indeed mad.

We hope that you will spread the word and even buy a copy for yourself as it will help us in our fund-raising for Scotland. We do recieve a higher royalty if purchased from the web address above than if it is purchased through Amazon so we recomend buying from there. The price is for 15.00 plus the shipping. It is a made to order so the printing is done when the order is placed.

We hope you all enjoy it as it is very close to our hearts. Thank you all again for all of your prayers during the last couple years we have been in the states. God Bless you all and again, Thank You.

Freedom from what and for what?

Happy 4th of July everyone, or I should say to all of my fellow Americans out there. I hope you are all enjoying your BBQ's and fireworks displays, and if you are in different countries where these things aren't happening well happy 4th anyways. God Bless you all and especially our soldiers out there far from home and away from your families. May the good Lord bring you home soon.

But on this day it makes me wonder what is our freedom about and what is it for? America gained it's freedom through a rebel war. There is no way to put this without offending some, sorry. The bible tells us to obey the leaders over us. The early Christians did not try to overthrow the Roman empire but rather just faced persecution knowing a better life was coming. Rebellion is the seed of America's freedom. And in the way that we have our organizations such as the ACLU, or the NCSE, the National Center for Science Education, or even the Gay rights activists, we are clearly a nation in rebellion to our Creator.

So why did God allow our freedom from the tyranny we were facing from Britain? While we don't know all of God's ways or all of His plans we do know that God will always use all things for His glory. A bad situation can be used as a means to teach a lesson or bring about a good thing later. Such as the case with Job. His own pride and arrogance was revealed to him and in the end God blessed him with even greater riches. So what good could come from our freedom?

None can deny that America has been a major world power for many years and although it seems like God may be lifting his blessings from us we still are a major influence in the world. Not so much now but in the past we have sent out some of the biggest missionary movements into the world and had such notable men as D.L. Moody, and Billy Graham. Clearly God used the rebellion of America to bring about a major push for Christ in the world.

But what is freedom for? Freedom as this world sees it is to do whatever you want that makes you happy. Drugs, alcohol, sex outside of marriage, all of this is outside of God's will, but not outside of the "freedom" that this world thinks is okay. So freedom as God sees it is to serve Him. Is serving someone else really freedom? Well, what does God ask us to do? To love Him and to love others. If you have a wife then you want to love her, buy her flowers, take care of her, please her. If you have kids you want what is best for them, you want to provide for them, and give them good things. If this is what it means to love someone else then is this a chore or is it freedom? God wants us to love Him, give him our best, worship Him. And in return He gives us life, both now and in the future world to come.

Yes it is true that in this world we will suffer many things for the name of Christ. But the rewards are of eternal value. But if we follow the freedom of this world we may suffer temporal pains like sickness, withdrawal, pain, and if we have not followed Christ then eternal pains to come. So which freedom is really worth it? Temporary pain and eternal happiness or temporal pain with eternal pain to come? If someone gives you a gift that is of inestimable value do you not wish to thank that person? Or what if someone saves your life from drowning? Do you remember the old war movies where the soldier who gets saved always would say to the other guy that he would pay him back?

Like in Saving Private Ryan where Tom Hanks looks at Matt Damon and tells him to "earn this" meaning the death of all his men just to save one man, Damon's character. See, we know that to be saved by someone means we are indebted to that person who saved us. Often we are ready to do what pleases that person who saved us. So if Christ saved us from an eternity of suffering in Hell then would we not want to do what pleases Him? And since His will is to live a life that is filled with goodness and thankfulness is that really a life of punishment or does such a life bring freedom, true freedom. It is time we "unlearn what we have learned" about what freedom really means.

I hope you have some good hamburgers, hot dogs, or steaks, and that fruit salad with those little marshmallows. Have a happy 4th of July everyone, and God Bless you.

Houses, Highlands, and moving...

Well I am back from Scotland now and I must say that the trip was great. To see the highlands again and to be around backpackers again was wonderful. But I'm sure you are all wondering if I was able to accomplish what I set out to do. The answer is yes. I was able to meet with the YWAM leaders as well as meet with some Realtors to see the legal side of buying a house in the UK. It was a very informative trip and I thank you all for your prayers. So here is the run down.

I arrived in Scotland on a Saturday night very tired. It was a good flight though, just long. The next day being a Sunday there wasn't much to do but walk around the YWAM base and spend some time praying. On Monday I had a meeting with one of the leaders to see what my week would look like. Since I had a short time there I had to fit in as much as possible.

My first meeting with one of the leaders was on Tuesday. I took the train out to Paisley, another one of the YWAM bases, and had lunch with the staff and students and then I spent the afternoon visiting with the leader. It was a good time of talking and seeing the base. I found out that during our time at Paisley we would need to be renting an apartment near by. The base itself is not so big so there isn't much room there for another family.

From there I went up to Oban to see the town again and to meet with what they call a solicitor. Basically a lawyer who is in the business of buying and selling property. See, in the UK you don't really buy or sell the house, the solicitors representing you the buyer or you the seller does the actual buying or selling. As the buyer we would hire a solicitor to make our offer to the seller's solicitor and then, in his words, if the seller accepts the offer then it becomes a "tennis match" between the lawyers over the different deals of the purchase of the house. There was a lot more he said but I will not bore you all with all the legal stuff since even I didn't understand all of it.

After my meeting I headed back down to the YWAM base in Seamill. I had a few more meetings before my time to come home. I had a meeting with the leadership team which went very well. It cleared up a lot of confusion in some areas. Mainly just about where and how we fit in during our time with the two bases. Our time will be spent making relationships with different YWAM works around Scotland and with the teams in Paisley and Seamill. This way we will have a family support base from which to work so we don't end up out on the field on our own. A very wise idea. Everything is ready for us to come.

All we need is to raise the funds to move as well as raise the money for the purchase of a house. We have been looking at a few houses in Oban town and while we are not sure of which house yet we are looking at a budget of how much we want to spend. So after talking to some of the families there we saw about how much would be a good idea to raise. As you can imagine the cost of living in the UK is not cheap. The exchange rate is almost 2 dollars to 1 pound so whatever we raise by the time we get there we are looking at that amount being cut in half. It is a bit daunting but not for an infinitely rich God.

So please pray with us during this time of waiting as we try to raise the support we need to move. During this summer we will be visiting with some friends and traveling around trying to raise some more support for this vision. As we go please pray we would have safety on the road and that God would bless the outcome. Thank you. May God Bless you.

Finally going....well, sorta

Hello everyone. Here is a short bit of news. I'M GOING TO SCOTLAND!!!! Well not quite yet a permanent move though. It is a short trip. So here is the scoop, or the poop. Or the pooper scoop. Okay I have lost you all and I am sorry. Anyways here is the news.

As some of you may already know we have been a little short on the amount of monthly support we need to begin our visa process for some time now. Well that hasn't changed. But with the summer comes new hope and promise. We have lined up some speaking arraignments and are hoping to get under way in July. So to prepare for this as well as to prepare for what lies ahead I, Nate, am making a trip to Scotland this June for a week long trip to scout out the land so to speak. I will mainly be visiting the YWAM base where we will be moving to first but if time and money allows I will also head north to the town of Oban which is where we want to move to for the backpacking mission we plan to start. If I make it I plan to be looking at houses on the market there to see what is available and what is the cost like.

I would appreciate as many prayers as I can get as I will be traveling alone and working to try to get as much information as I can from the YWAM leadership. Thank you all for your prayers during this time. God Bless you all and please be watching for some more news soon in the future.

"Feelings...nothing more than feelings.."

If I were to ask you, "How you doing?", what would be your answer? More often than not my answer to such a question is a plain and simple "Doin good. How are you?" You want to know whats so funny about such a response, I truly don't care about his answer and more than likely he doesn't care about mine. Why is that? Conviction does not breed a habit. I have often been convicted of being shallow on such greetings and concern for my fellow man but has my flesh got its act together. HAHA, no.

Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. It seems as if this was written to show us not that God alone can look into the heart of a man, but rather that only God LOOKS on the heart of a man. How many of us wear masks every day trying to hide what is inside, and how many more of us would rather just look at the "outward appearance" rather than the heart of our friends or family? After all we have so much more important things to do than to show concern for another, and who really wants to get tied up in a deep heartfelt conversation with someone when our couch and TV are waiting for us at home. Some of us may have a bit better excuse like our children are running amok and must be leashed so I don't have time right now, but when our children are grown will they see the need to love and listen or will they mirror what they see?

Having said all this and knowing that we must start somewhere I want to share a bit of my heart with you. Read it or not is none of my concern, only that I have spoken it out. All masks must come off. After all what is the point of being in a family, the family of Christ, if we are never to know each other? I have shared some of my heart's pain with you all before in an earlier post titled, "Remembering...the pain." In that post I shared a number of things that have pained my heart for quite some time now, but this will be different, I hope. This I hope will shed some light on a life's desire. A life's goal to serve the Lord. It may be a bit long but such matters of the heart often are.

When I graduated from high school I was going to follow my dream of becoming a marine biologist and work with marine life maybe someplace like sea world. But God had other plans. Maybe if you have ever read stories of some of the famous missionaries of the past their calling would sound similar. They had a dream and then in a single instant God grabbed them and changed their life. This was me. I read a story about a boy in Sudan and knew that God was calling me to Sudan. After a long road of a few years of this and that I finally found myself on a plane bound for Africa. It was an adventure that lasted for six years and caused me to grow in unimaginable ways. It also cost me my carefree bachelor lifestyle. And I would not ask for that lifestyle back again. I married the most beautiful woman in the world and even grew by three more as I had three children, all crazy and wild boys. But the adventure came to an end with sickness and we as a family decided it was time to return home. It was not easy for us but we knew God had other plans for us and so we followed Him.

Backtracking a bit those plans God had for us He introduced a few years earlier and said He would increase this vision more in the future. That vision was to work with backpackers. Please see the post entry in the archives titled "Prodigal Son Project". There is a short video slide show there explaining our mission.

So coming home we knew God would take us to new places and new work. We were ready to follow Him. Now fast forward a bit and we get to what I am going to share about today. In sharing about this mission we have had very unexpected support in its goals and purpose, to reach backpackers with the gospel. We have been encouraged by the prayers and comments people have shared with us in our time at home in the states. Overall we were a bit surprised people took to the idea. But in one area we have seen much discouragement, financial support. While in Sudan we never lacked and through many faithful supporters God provided everything we ever needed. God is truly faithful! But this time it is a bit different. While our hope was to be moving by this summer it seems now as to not be the case. We have not yet reached the amount we need in monthly support to begin our visa applications so we will not be leaving when we planned.

When talking about this we know God works in everything to better us and help us grow. He has people wait on His timing for a reason. To everything there is a time and a season. We know this and we are desperately praying for God's direction as we are at a loss. God is clear, Satan is blurry. If there is confusion then it is the works of the enemy. And this time of uncertainty is a bit frightening for us. We have no where to go and nothing that we can do. The mission field is all we know. Our heart is to move forward and reach these backpackers with the gospel but we can not do it without the funds to even go to the country to which God has called us. Every day we are here our hearts yearn more for a place we can not reach for reasons we can not understand. I know I am not speaking a foreign language here. Many of you reading this have had dreams before to do something with your lives. Some may still be dreaming while others have achieved their goal. And I am not talking about a private island where you can retire at 25. Yes that is a dream, one that I have had many times. But you know what dreams I am talking about. You wanted to go on to school and become a doctor, or a teacher, or a fill in the blank. A wife or husband and kids with a house. These things are not bad as God uses them all for His purpose and glory.

For me the dream became one of serving God with my life on distant fields of battle striking at the strongholds of the enemy and taking back what he has stolen. I have lived that dream for six years in Sudan. But now I am stuck. A teacher who has her degree and ends up working at Wal-Mart would probably understand what I am talking about. Does this mean there is defeat? Never!! Our God is the Creator of the world and everything in it. He has won the day and there is no defeat for those who put there trust in Him. But in this world there are times of waiting and longing. The promises of God will never be thwarted or defeated. But the times of waiting can be hard. The ways of the heart are hard to explain as they are feelings, impressions, pictures. Does that mean that we shouldn't try to explain them to each other? Please understand that the sole purpose of this post is to shed some light on the musings and prayers of a longing heart. Triumphant soon, but longing now. And if you have something to say then let us know what is in your heart. I do really care what is in your heart. It is a habit I am trying to grow.

God Bless you and keep you.